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Who Would Have Thought?

Posted by Jeremy on August 18, 2009 in General |

It’s been 3 years.  3 years since I’ve had to think about when I was married, what happened during my marriage and the inevitible divorce that came from it.  I’ve not had to think of that <insert favorite word for a disgusting, diseased tramp of a woman> person and I get the following email from my loan officer today:

Jeremy,
Is Annette your mom, sister or an ex-wife? If ex-wife, we need a divorce decree…
Please let me know if you pay alimony or child support.

No, there’s no alimony, no child support, nothing of the sort.  She cheated on me, she didn’t get a dime…though I paid dearly.  In wasted time, credit card debt up to my ears and having to split the profits from the forced sale of the house ( I wasn’t going to say out in Palmdale and have to drive 55 miles to work every day, and there’s no way she could afford to pay for a mortgage on a job that consisted of spending money she didn’t have ).  But, that information wasn’t good enough for my loan officer.  I found the paper from the court that showed the marriage was dissolved ( yay! 3 yr anniversary of being able to be happy ), but apparently they need the decree that shows that she doesn’t get some kind of montly payment from me.

Ok, fine.  I can handle that, I’ll just check the website for LA County, I should be able to order it online, right?  Sort of.  I found a page on the LA Superior Courts site that said you could order documents online.  SWEET.  I go digging through the FAQS and find this:

Crap on a cracker

Great, no online docs, and I have to drive the 65+ miles back to where I used to live to the courthouse there to stand in line for who knows how long to get a piece of paper that says “HE’S FREE OF THE WITCH!!!111!1!!1one!eleventy-one!!”, well you get the idea.   All the online information says that this process can take about 30 days.  How does it take 30 days to hit print?!  I’m supposed to close escrow in about 15 business days ( holy crap….15 days already *faints* ).  I CAN’T have this kind of problem come up :(.  Tomorrow I am calling the court to make sure I won’t have any issues and if it will just take the day, I’ll drive myself back to hell ( Palmdale & Lancaster ), pay the money to get the document I need, fax it to my loan officer and then frame the damn thing and place it in my office.  Assuming I get married again I’m sure I’m going ot need this damn document again.  *sigh*  I need sleep.

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