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Fuck You Kitchen Sink and FUCK YOU RUH-TARD Plumber.

Posted by Jeremy on April 19, 2010 in General, Humor |

Saturday evening, Brooke and I made dinner and had a nice evening just relaxing around the house.  While cleaning up I noticed the sink wasn’t draining like it should.  I tried plunging it, but it didn’t help.  Seems some sweet potato skins got down there and clogged up the sink something fierce.  Ok fine, we’ll pick up some liquid plumber and maybe that will help, worst case I’ll call the plumber my parents have used for years.  Long story short, liquid plumber didn’t do squat, and I called the plumber at 9:15 Sunday evening.

To my surprise, the plumber called back not more than 15 minutes later!  At 9:30pm I’m describing the problem with the kitchen sink and he said he had some early morning appointments but he could be at my house by noon the next day.  Awesome.  So, I emailed into work telling them I hoped to be in for a 1/2 day as I had to wait around for the plumber to show up.

I got up, showered and waited.  And waited…and did I mention, I waited?  10am, 11, noon, 1pm….concerned I called the plumber, it went to voicemail and I left a message.  2pm, 3pm, I call again.  He answers!  HAZAH!

Plumber: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, this is Jeremy, I”

Plumber: “You have the wrong number, this is _______ Plumbing”

Me: “Umm…right, MY name is Jeremy, I’m calling for ‘Bob’ “.

Plumber: “That’s me!”

Me: “I called you last night, you said you would be here by noon, it’s now 3pm and was wondering when you’d be here.”

Plumber: “No, you didn’t”

Me: “Um, I called this number. I left a message at 9:15pm, and you called me back at 9:30pm and told me you’d be here”

Plumber: “Oh, that must have been my assistant, I can’t believe they didn’t give me the information”

At this point I was just fucking outraged. This guy has a VERY unique voice and way of talking ( if you’ve seen The Hangover think about the character Alan, rainman, and you have the general idea of how he talked ) and unless he had some fucking doppelganger answering his phones or a twin brother, the person I spoke with the prior evening and the ruh-tard I was on the phone with at that point were one in the fucking same.  He told me that he couldn’t be at my house until 7am the next day.  I told him, “sure, whatever” and hung up and called around.  The first number I found, was a nice plumbing service that said they couldn’t be here until tomorrow around 10am.  I said I was hoping to get it done tonight, the receptionist put me on hold and came back to tell me that for a bit extra they could come tonight, but if it was after 5 it would cost a bit more.  Sure, I wanted it done tonight, I’ll pay the extra cost.

I hear a knock at the door, I look at the time, 5:01pm.  Of-fucking-course right?  Whatever.  They come in, within 10 minutes they are done and leaving and I am airing my house out of the smell of stale cigarette smoke and sweaty Armenian, but I have a working sink.  $200 for the cost of the unclogging, plus the missed day of work, plus general aggravation.  I wonder if my blood pressure was high after a day like this.  Add in the weather giving my allergies a fit, I just want a fucking do-over for the entire damn day.

Is April over yet?

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